I sometimes wonder if people are in the "People Industry" to help people or just because they thought it would be easy. I don't know. I had a doctor's appointment today, as I said in my last post, and it left me far more confused, anxious and annoyed. I mean I go and pour my heart out, even cry and the best advice they can give is stop breastfeeding, because I need autonomy from my family and I need to remember that I am not just a mom but a women. My doctor told me everything I was feeling was normal and I should not worry. Then he sent a nurse in to tell my the same and to blame it on my housing situation (selling and buying). It was like they were trying to make me feel bad for whining because I have a GREAT support system and I should just get over it. It was not until I told the nurse my anxieties about little things like sippy cups, diapers and that I am always expecting the worst, that she began to look worried and then actually offered to help. It is really sad, I mean I am not a new mom, I know that how I feel in not normal, it took a lot of courage to make the appointment and keep it. I wanted to puke the whole way there and while I was in the appointment.
When I had finished telling the Doctor what I was feeling and why I felt I needed to be there he said,"So, when are you going to tell me sometime that should worry me." I just looked at him and thought, this should worry you, it worries me, it is not because I have yet to get my period back or because I am breastfeeding. It is also not because we are selling our house, it started long before that.
I don't know, but hope to find out, I have a referral to Mental Health, maybe they know what it is.
Signed,
Wondering what goes through peoples heads..
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