What if is a game I play all the time. Sometimes with people but mostly with myself. Sometimes it is fun, but more often then not it is not. I have a tendency to worry all the time, about everything, from what I feed my kids to how much toilet paper is. I know, I am a worry wart, but I have been my whole life. For as far back as I can remember.
Right now, at this moment I am worrying about Ada's pending appointment with Dr. Kadoo, a pediatric urologist. Since Ada has been having chronic kidney infections, and because of her history with Renal Reflux this has become a concern. In January she was cleared of the Renal Reflux, her UCVG study came back normal. They told us there may be a chance that she be more prone to infection, but to not worry about it. So we kind of put it out of our mind.
Then in January, she woke with a fever and complained that her tummy hurt. So I took her in, after a bit of a fight they tested her urine and it came back normal. So they figured a virus. Then in March the same but her urine came back with evidence of an infection, so they treated her and told me not to worry, as we knew this was a possibility. But we figured we would do all we could do, so we started potty training, which went really, really well. She caught on right away. Ya for us!!!! But we knew because she is STUBBORN with a capital S, that not to push it, so we had set backs, but kept our patience and it has gotten better. Another cause of UTI's in little girls is constipation, so we upped fiber and encouraged her to go wherever and whenever she had to, even if I meant I was scrubbing poop out of panties. We just made sure she had a bath every night or at least she was cleaned well everyday. Wipe front to back, etc.
Then June hit, boy what a shitty month. An infection the whole month. Man, that BITCH would not die. It was like every 2 weeks like F*&^*%g clock work, off the antibiotics for 3 days and she was back, with a vengeance. Ada had woken with a high fever, over 40C she looked like death. Not to make light of death, but it was scary how sick and lifeless she looked. But not sure if it was an UTI or maybe something else I waited to take her in, as it was a Friday. I thought for sure it had to be something else, she had been so healthy for a couple of months. But it just got worse and worse. She started crying every time she had to pee and she did not eat. She said her tummy really hurt. And her fever did not go away. So Monday morning I called the pediatrician right away and caught shit from one of the nurses for not taking her in as soon as the fever came. I mean, REALLY, as if I did not feel shitty enough. Oy! Anyway, they told me what I already knew,that they had to cath her. So Ada having a memory like a horse starts freaking out, because she remembered being restrained last time. And in her freak out, she pees on the nurse, not once but 3 times. So being the smarty mommy that I am, I sit her up to pee in the cath tray. I know not as pristine as they like urine samples but it was as good as we were going to get. Her urine tested positive for infection right away, So they sent us with a prescription and told me they would call when they got the cultures back. In a couple of days they called back and it was a kidney infection, so to keep with the prescription and they would see us in a month for a follow up. So 10 days is pretty standard for meds, and we finished on a Tuesday, we went camping on Friday. She puked, we went home. She woke up Saturday morning with a fever, but otherwise in good spirits, so I give her some Advil and we head back out to the campground to see my parents. SO I had given her the Advil at 5:30 in the morning and but 9:30 the fever was back, it did not even hold it off for the promised 6 hrs. So I gave her a dose of Tylenol and we girls went for a nap. We woke up at 1:30 and it was back again, so I gave her another dose of Tylenol and we went on out way. Which in hind sight was stupid, I just should have taken her in then, but I was hopeful. But by 3:30 she looked like death again. And almost worse then before, so I abandon my son with my parents, and took Ada into the hospital. Not the Stollery which I would have normally done, but Stony, thinking that because she could use the toilet, that she would pee in a cup, they would dip it, give her some meds tell us to follow up with our doctor and send us on our way. Instead, we waited 7 hours to be seen, and it was not until she puked and her fever had gone up again that they brought us back, and then they tortured her (I know not their intention) for 2 hours before they gave her anything for her fever, then they gave her some IV meds and sent us home just to come back in 24 hrs for more IV meds. In truth I know they were doing the best they could for her with the knowledge that they had and the hurt both physically and emotionally was not intended. But seeingyour little girl calling for you to get them off of her and to make them stop does not leave your mind very easily. Even almost 2 months later I still pops in once and a while. But even with all the stress and the fear that surrounded her, she still kissed her little sister as we all snuggled into that little hospital bed, and told me that she was okay in her small weak little voice.
After some discussion the next day with her pediatrician we decided to cancel the IV meds and take a slightly less aggressive approach until we knew exactly what kind of bugs we were dealing with, we did not want to help with drug resistance. So we waited for the call again to tell us what the cultures said, they came back resistant to the meds, so a change was ordered and we got instructions for a another 10 day stretch. So we finished on a Wednesday this time and sure enough by Friday the fever was back and so was the puking and this time big time dehydration. So luckily we could get in with the Dr that day, but this time she let Ada pee in a cup this time and it came back VERY infected. So, back to square one, we got some new fancy last resort antibiotics and was told we had to start to dig deeper. So cue Dr. Kadoo and the Scary DSMA Screen....
So now Ada is on a strong daily meds that will hopefully keep the bugs at bay until we know what is going on. We see Dr. Kadoo tomorrow to decide what to do next and we have the Scary DSMA Screen in October.
I am scared because we are so in the dark. I am scared because I am afraid she will have bad news for us at our appointment, that our worse case scenario is going to come true and she will be in kidney failure and need dialysis and a transplant. Mostly, more than anything else, I am afraid I am going to loose my baby.
I know these are big what ifs and that I am probably over reacting, but I can not help it.
Signing,
What if....Queen
No comments:
Post a Comment